Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Tangents and Nell Carter (yes again)
Today is rainy and annoying. But tonight is the official beginning of Gay Pride week for me! So on one hand I hate today. And on the other, I am totally turned on by today. And with my last hand, I pinch my nipples so hard it feels good. And milk came out. And I drank it. And it tasted good.
As soon as this SLOW fucking day ends, I will go over to Paul’s apartment to get ready to go to B-Bar. I super love B-Bar. Especially during gay pride week. Everyone dresses in their finest gay clothes and shows off their finest gay moves. It’s all very trite and wonderful. Maybe Britney Spears will show up so I can puke on her knee. She’s been known to stop by there. If I see her, I will destroy her. I will destroy her with the puke in mah belly!
When my webpage went (mysteriously) down a couple of weeks ago, I was forced to change my template in order to keep everything I had in my database. As you can see, it now looks like melted, brown poop. In any case, I lost my sitemeter in the process and I decided just to leave it off for a few weeks. To be totally honest, the amount of people that visit my site is really inconsequential to me. I just like writing bullshit every day and I get a real kick out of the emails I receive. Anysnoodle, I put the sitemeter back on yesterday afternoon and was VERY surprised to find out that my number of hits I’ve been getting has increased exponentially since I’ve changed over to my new diarhea colored page. I didn’t realize that the world was filled with people who ENJOY looking at shit all day. I mean thanks for stopping by, but you may have a problem. Poop lover.
There are places that accept people like you. It’s called jail.
I watched The Casino last night on Fox. Loved it. Nuff said.
I heard Ryan Cabrera’s song last night for the second time. On both listens, I had hoped he would die. A horrible rotten death. SHIT SONG WRITER AND UGLY FUCKER. He is also dating Ashlee Simpson, who, as we know, is a brilliant artist. I mean, she writes the most beautiful poetry of BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER FUCKING HEARD! Ashlee, Jessica’s dimwit sister, and her boyfriend, Ryan, are both managed by her father. And they are both hoping to take their careers to the next level by DYING! DIE DIE DIE! Fucking muscial wastepots.
Ok…in other news…last night I was having my late night cup of tea with my good friend Nell Carter. She had just finished singing some bluesy, soulful medley of pieces when I realized that it was time to watch Who Wants to Marry My Dad?. As I went to change the channel, Nell reminded me that I am not a fucking LOSER who watches the SAME MUNDANE garbage on television every night. I told her that I thought the show might be good for a laugh and she retorted with “Please Joe. Don’t even PRETEND to think it’s funny. The show sucks my big black tits.” I hugged her and we went to bed.
While we were making black love, I heard someone outside my window talking to Frankie Muniz. They were being so loud and it was driving me CRAZZZY! I reached out the window and squished him with my thumb. Little fucking know it all prick. Do NOT interrupt my Nell love making with your Malcom in the Middle snore filled hijinks. I hate you and your little Cody Banks smarm.
Nina Sky…I love you. I’ll move ya body if you want.
I’m sorry, but is Entertainment Weekly becoming my new porn? First Jake Gyllenhaal on the cover and now Christian Bale? YUMSICLE! Personally I want to look like Jake and have Christian inside my butt. I mean, I know I’m an anal virgin, but I’ll lose it to Chris. He’s so talented and beautiful. And the Batman Begins movie sounds like the coolest Batman to ever be made. I’m pretty excited. And horny.
Does anyone know who sings the song that plays on the Summerland preview? I think it’s Summerland that I’m talking about, but I don’t remember (all those new summer shows suck balls). If you have any idea what song I’m referring to, please send me an email with your thoughts.
I guess that’s it. Time to go be gay!
Enjoy the rest of your day my sweet little gaylords.
Today is rainy and annoying. But tonight is the official beginning of Gay Pride week for me! So on one hand I hate today. And on the other, I am totally turned on by today. And with my last hand, I pinch my nipples so hard it feels good. And milk came out. And I drank it. And it tasted good.
As soon as this SLOW fucking day ends, I will go over to Paul’s apartment to get ready to go to B-Bar. I super love B-Bar. Especially during gay pride week. Everyone dresses in their finest gay clothes and shows off their finest gay moves. It’s all very trite and wonderful. Maybe Britney Spears will show up so I can puke on her knee. She’s been known to stop by there. If I see her, I will destroy her. I will destroy her with the puke in mah belly!
When my webpage went (mysteriously) down a couple of weeks ago, I was forced to change my template in order to keep everything I had in my database. As you can see, it now looks like melted, brown poop. In any case, I lost my sitemeter in the process and I decided just to leave it off for a few weeks. To be totally honest, the amount of people that visit my site is really inconsequential to me. I just like writing bullshit every day and I get a real kick out of the emails I receive. Anysnoodle, I put the sitemeter back on yesterday afternoon and was VERY surprised to find out that my number of hits I’ve been getting has increased exponentially since I’ve changed over to my new diarhea colored page. I didn’t realize that the world was filled with people who ENJOY looking at shit all day. I mean thanks for stopping by, but you may have a problem. Poop lover.
There are places that accept people like you. It’s called jail.
I watched The Casino last night on Fox. Loved it. Nuff said.
I heard Ryan Cabrera’s song last night for the second time. On both listens, I had hoped he would die. A horrible rotten death. SHIT SONG WRITER AND UGLY FUCKER. He is also dating Ashlee Simpson, who, as we know, is a brilliant artist. I mean, she writes the most beautiful poetry of BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER FUCKING HEARD! Ashlee, Jessica’s dimwit sister, and her boyfriend, Ryan, are both managed by her father. And they are both hoping to take their careers to the next level by DYING! DIE DIE DIE! Fucking muscial wastepots.
Ok…in other news…last night I was having my late night cup of tea with my good friend Nell Carter. She had just finished singing some bluesy, soulful medley of pieces when I realized that it was time to watch Who Wants to Marry My Dad?. As I went to change the channel, Nell reminded me that I am not a fucking LOSER who watches the SAME MUNDANE garbage on television every night. I told her that I thought the show might be good for a laugh and she retorted with “Please Joe. Don’t even PRETEND to think it’s funny. The show sucks my big black tits.” I hugged her and we went to bed.
While we were making black love, I heard someone outside my window talking to Frankie Muniz. They were being so loud and it was driving me CRAZZZY! I reached out the window and squished him with my thumb. Little fucking know it all prick. Do NOT interrupt my Nell love making with your Malcom in the Middle snore filled hijinks. I hate you and your little Cody Banks smarm.
Nina Sky…I love you. I’ll move ya body if you want.
I’m sorry, but is Entertainment Weekly becoming my new porn? First Jake Gyllenhaal on the cover and now Christian Bale? YUMSICLE! Personally I want to look like Jake and have Christian inside my butt. I mean, I know I’m an anal virgin, but I’ll lose it to Chris. He’s so talented and beautiful. And the Batman Begins movie sounds like the coolest Batman to ever be made. I’m pretty excited. And horny.
Does anyone know who sings the song that plays on the Summerland preview? I think it’s Summerland that I’m talking about, but I don’t remember (all those new summer shows suck balls). If you have any idea what song I’m referring to, please send me an email with your thoughts.
I guess that’s it. Time to go be gay!
Enjoy the rest of your day my sweet little gaylords.
